


In the middle of the countryside, two minutes past midnight

by IAmNotGoodatthisnamingthing



Category: VIXX
Genre: Closure, Friendship/Love, I don't know how to tag this, M/M, brief mentions of the other VIXX members, keo - Freeform, post-enlistment, slightly angsty?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-19
Updated: 2016-11-19
Packaged: 2018-08-31 21:00:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8593606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IAmNotGoodatthisnamingthing/pseuds/IAmNotGoodatthisnamingthing
Summary: 2 years out of the army, and almost 4 years out from last touring as VIXX, Leo has made his home away from the life that he used to live. Ken shows up to challenge everything he has made, and everything he has hidden, and maybe to even change everything he has believed in. But will Leo let him?





	

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not really good at summaries, but thank you for taking a chance on this work anyway!

Leo had not expected to see him here. In fact, Leo had not expected to see any of them for another two months, when Hyukie’s military stint was to end, and VIXX had that reunion fanmeet scheduled. Yet, here he was - Ken - decked in his uniform, grinning far too widely than what was appropriate for 6 am.

“Hyung!”, he says, somehow managing to smile even more brightly. “Did you miss me?”

And then without allowing Leo to answer (in the negative, of course), he pushes his way past, into the house Leo had made his home for the better part of the past two years. And Leo only sighs before closing the door and walking in.

“What do you want?”, he asks Ken, who has already settled into a couch and is in the middle of surveying his surroundings.

“Is that how you greet an old friend?”, Ken pouts. “When N hyung told me you had moved away to escape the city life I didn’t realize that you’d left all your manners behind too.”

Leo sighs, remembering exactly how insufferable Ken could get if he didn’t get his way, and rephrases his question. “Fine. Is there something I can do for you?”

“Breakfast would be nice”, Ken sighs dreamily. “No one can make ramyeon like hyung does, and I haven’t eaten since last night.”

“Why not?”, Leo asks conversationally, already hovering towards his small kitchen.

“I was discharged yesterday, and I skipped the partying to board a bus and come visit hyung”, he says simply, as if that explains everything.

It explains nothing, but Leo is knows better than to ask Ken to explain. So he holds his silence and goes about making breakfast, sure that Ken would let him know the reason behind his visit whenever he felt up to it.

As he potters around the stove, Leo looks up and out of his kitchen into the vast expanses of the countryside stretching out beyond. It feels him with a sense of...serenity.

He’d completed his mandatory service almost two and a half years ago, and had tried settling into his old life. VIXX had been on hiatus of course, because some of the members were still on duty, but Jellyfish had outdone itself trying to keep his schedule booked. There had been musicals, and OSTs, solo activities, and even mini-fanmeets. He’d tried to keep up with it, between getting reacquainted with his family and friends, but something had been missing. He’d felt a void in him, a restlessness, a need for...something different. It had been on a acting job to a northern village that he’d walked off set during a break and just sat on a rock by the roadside, hearing the rush of a nearby river. And he’d felt peace. The yearning in him, that he wasn’t yet ready to name, remained, but he’d felt better. Soothed. And a new yearning had taken control of his heart.

At least this one seemed easy to appease.

So, he’d returned back - to the city, and thought long and hard on it. He talked it over with his sister, and with his company.  _ You will get lonely,  _ they said _. What if you have an emergency? Is something bothering you? Do you want to cut down on your schedules and rest? Are you okay? _

_ Are you okay… _

“Are you okay?”, Ken’s voice broke into his reverie, and Leo nodded once in reply.

“It’s just that you have been standing there holding that egg for a minute already”, Ken continued, shifting from foot to foot.

“I’m fine”, Leo dismissed. “Go set the table.”

And as Ken whined about the unfairness of having to work at a seemingly ungodly hour, Leo felt his lips curve up in a small smile.

Leo hadn’t smiled for a long time after his conscription. Not genuinely. But he did, the first morning he woke up in his new home. He’d purchased the place and moved in two months after realizing he wanted to try living a more sedentary life. Hakyeon and Ravi, already done with their service, had helped him move, but he’d sent them off after dinner, with the excuse of wanting to settle in. And when he’d woken up, to the sound of chirping birds instead of the city bustle, he’d smiled. He’d smiled too, when he’d gone exploring his surroundings, and discovered that his nearest neighbour was a warm-hearted, old woman with three dogs (that she said Leo could play with whenever he wanted). He’d smiled again when he’d gotten lost and discovered a nearby brook by chance. Although the commute to the city for his (diminished) schedules would be exhausting, Leo had felt genuinely happy at scoring his house in the countryside, and with joy in his heart, he’d begun the process of setting roots. This, he knew, was a place he could call his home. Where he could be free, and happy.

Leo was not happy.

Ken let it slip casually over breakfast that he intended to stay for a bit.

“How long is a bit?”, he asked in his most unimpressed voice.

“Just until I get back my bearings”, Ken shrugged, slurping yet more noodles into his mouth. “I’ll be quiet. Hyung won’t eve know I’m here.”

_ Fat chance of that _ , Leo thought. Ken was a person who commanded space and attention with every dumb action he did. Admittedly this was a Ken he had not seen in a long long time (almost 2 years since Ravi decided to spend his day off duty with his fellow VIXX members, where a newly discharged Leo had last met and talked to and laughed with a soon-enlisting Ken; Hyuk and Hakyeon had been there; Hongbin, unfortunately, had not been able to score a leave from his commanding officer). And how much could a person really change?

Not much. Leo was a testament to that. Even after all this time, he was still unable to say no to Ken’s puppydog eyes.

“Fine. You can stay. For a bit.”, he allowed begrudgingly, standing up and busying himself with clearing the table. “Guestroom is first door up the staircase. Roam the house, if you want, but stay out of my study. And if you need something, let me know, and I’ll get it from the grocer’s in a bit.”

“Thank you, hyung”, Ken chirped, leaping up to hug Leo. “I’ll be a good housemate, you’ll see. In fact, I’ll begin by running your shopping errands. As soon as I shower. So, leave your list up!”

Leo’s protests died in his throat when Ken pressed his lips to Leo’s cheekbone fleetingly before gathering his bag and skipping up the staircase.

_ That was...new _ , Leo thought, placing a hand against his now-warmed cheek.

By the time Ken came down, Leo had locked himself up in his study, meaning to work on writing lyrics. He was trying to concentrate, but he still found himself following the footsteps of Ken down the staircase, towards the kitchen (where Leo had remembered to keep the shopping list on the kitchen counter), and then out of the house. Unlike VIXX’s Ken, who had a habit of banging doors whenever he entered or left a place, this Ken took care to close the door lightly. Not that Leo was paying any attention to it, he was busy composing, after all.

“Ken is here”, he spoke into the phone.

“Ken? Our Ken?”, Hongbin answered from his end.

“Hmmm.”

“What’s he doing there?”

“I was hoping you could tell me”, Leo replied, putting the phone on speaker and starting to dice carrots.

“Maybe you should ask N hyung? Ken hyung was always closer to him. Well, him and Hyukie. But Hyukie is-”

“-still on duty. I know.”

“Have you tried asking him? Ken hyung, I mean?”

Leo hummed noncommittally yet again, as commotion broke out on Hongbin’s end of the line.

“Hyung, I’ve gotta go. I’m in the middle of a shoot”, Hongbin apologized.

“Go, and do well. I’ll take to Ken.”

“And tell him I said hello! Bye, hyung! I’ll see you in two months!”

“Goodbye”, he said uselessly into the now-dead line, before returning to his lunch preparations. It had been a long time since he’d entertained guests (two months since his sister brought her children over for a picnic, five since Ravi spent a weekend getting drunk and composing on his couch), and so he prepared diligently, for the meal he’d share with Ken.

Leo ate alone. 

He’d waited a long time for Ken to return before deciding to eat a late lunch, long gone cold, on his own. And then he sat in the den, reading a newspaper.

Ken returned at close to dusk.

“Hyung!”, he chirped, cheeks flushed rose pink and hands straining with the packets he was carrying. “I met your neighbours, they’re all so nice and friendly! And the grocer was kind enough to get his daughter to show me around town. Did you know that the h-”

“You missed lunch”, Leo interrupted. “I waited for you”

A pause, broken only by the sounds of Ken trying to catch his breath.

“But didn’t you get my note?”, he asked in a small voice.

“What note?”

“The one I left on your study door?”, Ken said, gently dropping his baggages to the floor before striding to the aforementioned door and returning with a yellow post-it-note (that Leo knew he’d taken from the kitchen supplies).

_ Hyung, I’m gonna look around. Will come back late. See you at dinner! - your Kennie _

Leo found himself thawing as he read the note. He’d missed it of course because he hadn’t returned to his study since the noon, as he’d been  ~~ waiting for Ken ~~ doing his housework. He was also starting to feel slightly stupid. Fortunately, Ken found words to say before Leo could fumble out an apology.

“How about I make us dinner, as a treat? I may not be able to cook fancy stuff like you, but I can do simple. How about it?”, Ken teased, already heading towards the kitchen.

“How can I help?”, Leo asked, stepping into the kitchen 15 minutes later, having recovered from his bout of embarrassment. Ken was busy...boiling something. 

“No peeking!”, Ken hit Leo’s finger with his ladle when he made to lift the pot cover. “Make yourself useful by unloading the groceries.”

Leo shifted his gaze between his wounded finger and Ken brandishing his ladle before breathing out a chuckle and getting to work. 

Ken had changed, he observed as he worked. He no longer slouched, but stood straighter, and moved with purpose. His hair, shorn short, had lost the fluffiness Leo often associated with the old Ken; and he had muscles, well-defined, toned muscles, that shifted as he worked.

Ken had always oozed confidence, but now he exuded a quiet purpose. It was…. _ new _ .

“You’ve changed”, Leo commented, as they shared bread with the (under-salted) vegetable stew Ken had prepared for dinner.

“Hard not to”, Ken shrugged before shifting his gaze to Leo. “You’ve changed too, and not only because of your conscription. This, you, it’s different.”

_ Good different or not _ , Leo wanted to ask, but he wasn’t yet brave enough to. So he avoided Ken’s unwavering gaze as he very unsubtly changed the topic. “How’s Hyukie?”

“Still the same. An absolute terror”, Ken smiled indulgently. “He has his entire regiment wrapped around his finger. The last time we met, I found myself volunteering to do his chores. On my off-day!”

“I saw pictures of the two of you on a paper once.”, Leo commented. 

It was a lie. It had been an update on Ken’s instagram. The two had arms thrown around each other, and matching grins adorning their faces, and Leo had found himself feeling a lurch in his stomach, for no reason at all.

“Ah! The two brothers!”, Ken rolled his eyes good naturedly. “Believe it or not, Hyukie’s CO had snapped that photo, saying the two of us looked too much like siblings, and that needed to be documented. But between you and me, he was two beer cans past drunk already.”

Leo had smiled, as the situation demanded, and returned to his dinner, humming at the correct places, as Ken continued telling stories about the apparent menace Hyuk was busy being in his unit.

After dinner, Ken volunteered to do the dishes, so Leo decided to take his nightly shower. As he was coming out of the washroom, he caught faint sounds of Ken singing an old M.C. The Max song in the kitchen downstairs, and he stood there for a moment, just listening. Even after he locked himself in his room for the night, the haunting tune of Goodbye for a Moment filled his mind for a very long time.

Ken settled into Leo’s home in no time.

He pottered around the garden in the mornings, planting, watering, and weeding extensively. (Leo never knew that Ken did it because he didn’t want Leo to put pressure on his weak knee, and Ken never told him so). And then he joined Leo in the kitchen for a simple breakfast. After that, Leo locked himself up in his study to compose, and Ken...went out, probably socializing. He’d taken up the duties of grocery shopping and doing dishes, two chores Leo was not too keen on, and for that Leo was thankful. But he came back always, for lunch, which was often a silent affair, as Leo had gotten too used to having only his thoughts for company. The afternoons, Leo spent walking along the bank of the brook, or playing with Mrs. Park’s dogs. Sometimes, Ken accompanied him, and sometimes he didn’t. (What he did in those few hours alone Leo wanted to know, but never got along to asking. Along with the other questions he kept buried in himself.)

Dinner as usual, they ate together, with the two of them alternating cooking and cleaning duties, and afterwards, they’d gotten into a habit of sitting together in the den and drinking coffee.

That was when they talked, comfortably and sleepily, till late into the night. They talked about their life as VIXX, childhood dreams, enlistment woes, and even their hopes for the future. Sometimes, they hummed bits and pieces of old songs, and sometimes Ken even coaxed Leo to bring out his lyrics, offering suggestions and notes wherever he could.

It was cozy. It was comfortable. And Leo liked it.

Leo hated how much he liked it. 

Leo hated how attuned he’d become to Ken’s presence; how he could look up from making breakfast and catch Ken working in the garden, often talking to his plants, and how that simple, dumb act would make him smile; how he’d gotten used to fetching Ken’s yellow cup along with his blue one whenever he made tea or coffee; how he seamlessly called for Ken whenever one of their VIXX members called, and how the two of them would sit shoulder to shoulder, hands brushing together, talking to whoever happened to be on the other end of the line; how he’d wait for Ken to show up, so they could share a meal; how he’d impulsively bought a beat-up gameboy for Ken on a town visit, and how that had earned him another cheek peck and an ear-splitting squeal from Ken; how much he looked forward to their post-dinner coffee every night. Leo  _ hated _ it.

And he still didn’t know why Ken was here. But he was getting around to asking him.  _ Soon _ .

It had been six whole weeks since Ken had shown up on his doorstep and integrated himself into Leo’s daily life that Ken asked that very important question.

“What are you planning to do once Hyukie’s done with his service?”

“What do you mean?”, Leo stalled, swishing the dregs of his coffee around the bottom of his cup.

“Are you planning to continue living here, or come back to the city, to live in the dorms?”, Ken asked, not beating about the bush.

“I-I don’t know yet”, Leo had sighed. He did not. There were many things to consider, and he’d been keeping all his concerns bottled up.

Leo’s comment was met only with silence from Ken’s end, so  he chanced a glance up...to find Ken frowning at him.

“Do you know why I came here, hyung?”, he finally said, in that serious voice he’d taken to talking in. (Sometimes Leo loved listening to it. Sometimes he missed the old Ken’s rushed ramble immensely.)

“Why?”, Leo asked in a small voice, slanting his eyes down.

Another pause, and then Ken took a deep breath and squared his shoulders.

“I came here to see you”, Ken replied simply, easily. “Now I’m gonna talk for a bit, and you just listen, okay?”

Leo could only nod, feeling that unfamiliar lurch in his stomach again.

“I used to follow your activities, you know. Every time you had a TV appearance, I’d wheedle my way into watching it on my regiment’s shared TV. It got to the point that every time you had an appearance, my unit would tease me that my boyfriend was on. I didn’t mind, not really. But then, you stopped appearing on TV. You still showed up on ads, and in magazines, but no longer on TV. I wrote to manager hyung asking if you were okay, and he said you were taking some time off, to come and experience the country life.” 

“I thought of writing to you, you know?”, Ken continued wryly. “But I didn’t know how you’d take it. Whether you’d return my letters? Or whether you’d ignore me. And I couldn’t bear that thought. At all. So I did a bit of soul-searching. I remember sitting in the mess table, at 5 am, listening to the radio. And this one song came on. I had never heard the voice, but the words...they reminded me of you. They made me miss you.” 

“Imagine my surprise when the RJ announced that it was, in fact, written by you. I went online the next time I could and searched up everything you’d composed so far, and I coaxed one of my bunkmates to help me get them all on my phone. I listened to them day and night, and in time I realized something, something I should probably have realized a long time ago. Wanna know what that is, hyung?”

Leo can only shake his head, his right arm coming up to scratch his left bicep in anxiety. “It’s late, we should go rest.”

“I’m done resting, hyung. Tonight, I’m going to lay my heart bare, and what you decide to do with that, is for you to decide.”

“Ken, no, Jaehwan-ah, don’t”, Leo bites out softly, feeling his heartbeat racing.

“Why not, hyung?”

Leo doesn’t answer. He can’t. Years of worrying about his words, of guarding his thoughts, has made him wary. “I don’t want you to”, he says firmly, instead, earning yet more silence from his companion.

“Do you want me to leave, then?”, Ken asks in a low voice, devoid of emotion.

Leo shakes his head infinitesimally. 

“Why not?”, Ken asks.

And Leo, he shakes his head yet again.

Another pause ensues, this heavier with implications than the others, until Ken - as usual - breaks it. 

“Perhaps I should”, he muses. “Perhaps I should return back to the city. VIXX will begin promoting soon, and I haven’t seen my family yet. I’d get to see Hyukie too, when he gets out. Perhaps I should leave.”

Leo offers neither encouragement nor protest, and Ken sighs after what seems to be an infinite moment, before getting up.

“I’ll take the first shower tonight. And get out of your hair come tomorrow.”, and with that he gets up and makes his way up the stairs, each creak of the old wood stabbing into Leo’s heart.

Leo doesn’t sleep for the night. He stays awake, sitting in his study, and thinks till dawn breaks. And then per his routine, he goes to the kitchen and starts making breakfast. 

Ken comes down later than he’s wont to do, dressed in a button down and khaki trousers, and looking more like his old self than he had this past few weeks, when he’d walked around Leo’s house in simple tees and shorts. Leo doesn’t like it, not one bit.

He still places a plate full of omelette and toast and fried tomatoes in front of Ken, and fills up his coffee cup. “Stay, for another day”, he intones, mixing two cubes of sugar to Ken’s drink.

“Why?”, Ken asks.

“Because I’m asking you to”, Leo snaps, slamming his mug on the table. “Now eat up”.

And so Ken stays, only for the day, he insists. 

They work in the garden together, and Leo allows Ken to lead him into a song which apparently would help his pumpkins grow better. (Never mind that the pumpkins weren’t pumpkins at all, but cabbages).

And then afterwards, Leo brings him to his study, and lets Ken doodle around on his papers, as he works on a harmony. Ken singing along the tune is a treat, and Leo joins him, voice molding and harmonizing around Ken’s, eyes diligently fixed on the notes in front of him, pencil busy adding in new notes.

When afternoon rolls around, they leave to spend an hour  playing with Mrs. Park’s dogs, and then sitting by the brook. They don’t talk much, but engage in a competition of skipping stones across the water. Leo wins, and Ken claims foul play.

The evening passes far too soon, and they find themselves sitting across each other for their  ~~ last ~~ coffee-talk.

Leo gets up momentarily to go collect two notebooks and a large bundle of papers from his bedroom  that he dumps in front of Ken.

“What’s this?”, Ken asks, gesturing towards the papers.

“Words I have written. About you.”, Leo discloses honestly, bravely. “And for you.”

Ken stills, eyes flicking between the table and Leo’s face. “May I?”, he asks, gesturing towards the papers.

Leo nods, and Ken wastes no time in lifting up a notebook gently, and beginning to flip through it.

“That’s from 2013.”, Leo adds conversationally. “I was just starting to realize that you were precious to me. More precious than the rest. But I didn’t want to name what I felt, didn’t want to feel what I felt, so I didn’t think on it. I just wrote.”

“Jaehwanie’s snores are the cutest?”, Ken chuckles, reading a note.

“They still are”, Leo affirms, without shame. Ken still fell asleep on the couch sometimes, and his cute snores fascinated Leo.

“2016.”, Leo says, when Ken picks up the other notebook. “When I began making peace with my feelings, and trying to be as close to you as I could.”

“I remember that time”, Ken smiles wistfully. “I didn’t know what was going on with you, but I didn’t want you to stop.”

“Do you want me to stop? Now?”, Leo asks, and smiles, when Ken shakes his head vehemently, clutching the notebook to his chest.

“I wrote in it all the way up to my enlistment, and then left it in my sister’s place. Under lock and key.”

“Of course”, Ken smiles indulgently, and Leo kind of wants to hit him for his teasing tone. But he resists. He’s a changed man, after all.

“I had hoped you’d enlist with me, or soon”, Leo continues. “But you didn’t.”

“I wanted to be there for Hyukie, if I could.”, Ken says semi-guiltily.  

“I know”, Leo allows. “But it still didn’t stop me from being miffed, or second-guessing myself. And then I came back, and you and Hyuk and Hakyeon had all these jokes amongst yourselves, and I felt left out. And then the two of you were gone. And I couldn’t even spend some time with you, or see you off, because of my schedules.”

“Don’t blame yourself, please”, Ken pleads. “We understood. I understood. Promise.”

“Good for you, because I didn’t”, Leo laughs without humor. “I didn’t - no, couldn’t - understand the hold you had over me. How every other thought I had was of you. How I kept wondering what you were doing, if you were ever thinking of me, like I kept thinking of you. Everything back at the company reminded me of you, every coffee shop we had visited, even the broadcast stations. And so I left, hoping to forget you, hoping to regain myself.”

“And then I showed up”, Ken adds.

“And made me realize that I was stupid to think I could run away from you. Not when you live through my words, not when you took less than a day to cleave your way back into my heart. I couldn’t, I can’t, let you leave. What you decide to do with that, is for you to decide.”,he said, mimicking Ken’s words from the last night.

“Wow”, Ken replied eloquently. “So, where does that leave us?”

“In the middle of the countryside, two minutes past midnight”, Leo point-blanked, earning himself a pillow to the head from Ken.

“So, you like me, right?”, Ken asked, eyes shining just that bit more brightly.  “I, of course, much to the surprise of not one of my unit members, have been head over heels for you for sometime.”

Leo nodded, wondering where Ken was going.

“Ask me again, hyung. Ask me why I’m here?”

“Jaehwan-ah, why are you here?”, Leo asks softly, adoringly.

“To see you”, Ken grins. “And to be with you, if I could.”

“You ask me again, what I mean to do when Hyukie returns.”

“What are you going to do?”, Ken asks, with breathless nervousness.

“Be wherever you want to be.”

“That’s easy”, Ken grins. “I want to be with you.”

“I’m not the easiest of people to be with.”, Leo warned.

“That’s okay. I’m easy enough for both of us”, Ken replied, flashing him another brilliant smile. “Although I can be quite slow on the uptake.”

“Hongbinie did always say you have a soft brain”, Leo teased, testing the waters between them.

“No teasing”, Ken pouted, leaving his seat to come and fit himself against Leo’s right shoulder.

“Just a little bit?”, Leo asked, fingers rubbing Ken’s throat soothingly.

“Just a bit”, Ken allowed, snuggling deeper.

They end up cuddling till 3am, when an alarmed Leo sends Ken to bed, before retreating to his room, a smile still etched his face.

The next morning, as he’s filling up the coffee kettle, Leo sees Ken talking to his  ~~ pumpkins ~~ cabbages and he grins when Ken blows him a flying kiss upon catching sight of him.

Leo, however, is the first one to initiate an actual kiss; he lightly pecks Ken as he walks past him to go up and get a shower. (Which prompts Ken to come up and bang on the washroom door and lament about unfairness when he’s recovered from the surprise).

Life, Leo thinks as he sneaks a peek into the book Ken seems engrossed in, though unexpected, isn’t that bad after all. Or maybe not, he corrects later, when Ken dozes off against him, and drools on his sweater. But he won’t have it any other way.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I'd really appreciate it if you left me some feedback :)
> 
> PS - If there's any typos, please do let me know. I wrote this out in a rush last night, and uploaded it without much editing ._.


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